At the risk of sounding like I’m contradicting my first two posts, I don’t believe that the business owners, their children, and their employees who all benefit from one another’s contribution are completely ungrateful..  I do believe they suffer from the same thing I suffer from, and perhaps that you suffer from; they are thankful, but just haven’t expressed it. Maybe they are unsure how or they have communicated to everybody their gratification, except for the person that made the contribution.

The principle from my last post bears repeating. Unexpressed gratitude communicates ingratitude. Did you know that unexpressed gratitude is a form of rejection?  Just think of the last time you went out of your way to do something special for someone in your life only to have the effort go unnoticed. Because, hey, it’s what you’re supposed to do – you’re my dad. “Dad, my tires are wearing thin. Dad, my bank account is getting low. Dad, I need a job – I’m coming to work in the family business.” They’re “entitled” to your efforts, right? It feels bad doesn’t it?  At times it can even make you mad.

The problem here is not so much a lack of gratefulness. It’s that the circle of gratitude has not been completed. The “thanks” has not been expressed. And if it isn’t expressed, it may as well not exist.  When we don’t say thanks, the message we send is “I’m entitled.” 

Unexpressed gratitude has the same effect as rejection. Human beings are acceptance magnets and environments in which we feel rejected repel us. Therefore, if unexpressed gratitude is allowed to continue, rest assured a wedge of rejection will be driven right down the middle of your relationships.

If you have a distant relationship with a loved one currently, evaluate whether or not there has been a history of unexpressed gratitude.  To refuse to pay your debts of gratitude is to have an inflated view of yourself.

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